sunGladyses

Origin:
sunglasses + Gladys = sunGladyses

Definition:
n. pl.
A modern style of women's sunglasses characterized by dramatically large lenses, similar to those that used to be worn by old ladies in Boca Raton named Gladys.  

Exempla:

 










Commentary:
With summer at full tilt, it's time for a summery, fashion-minded portmanteau to keep us on course. What's up with sunGladyses? Quite the "spectacle," aren't they? Why are old lady shades the hot accessory for the sun?

Old ladies like oversized sunglasses because their shameless functionality seems to know no bounds. These Blublockers offer Gladys maximum protection from harmful UVB rays at every angle while also fending off in-coming insects as she zips around the Walmart parking lot on her Rascal scooter. Plus, these peeper keepers help her maintain tip-top vision so she can con and guilt-trip her way into passing another eye exam at the DMV. What's not to love?

So then what's fashion-martyr-slash-celebutante Nicole Richie doing in a pair of blackout specs with lenses the size of her own anus? Her best Human Fly impression, obviously. But this is la mode right now. So what are the advantages? I guess maximum sun protection is one. But in the Ford Crown Victoria of fashion, function always takes a forehead-print-on-foggy-window backseat to aesthetics. As I see it, the big style benefit of oversized sunglasses is a suggestion of excess. By wearing sunglasses that are cartoonishly too big, the wearer communicates that she has the financial means to go beyond what is sufficient.

If you find this trend badgersome, I suggest you take consolation in the fact that the climate of fashion is fickle. I predict that this trend will blow over by next summer when everyone starts wearing sunglasses that look like telescopes on their eyes. These glasses will be 3D capable so wearers can reap the benefits of 3D television and 3D movies without the need to bring or borrow special spectacles.






Credit:
Nate Winter

sarchasm

Origin:
sarcasm + chasm = sarchasm

Definition:
n. the yawning emotional and personal crevasse that suddenly opens between two people when one fails to understand the other's sarcasm.

Exemplum:
Walter's jest about "those tawny liberals" was not well received by the waitstaff, resulting in a sarchasm that swallowed up his drink service almost immediately.

Commentary:
Today's portmanteau begins a short series of neologisms that all involve sarcasm. It's a testy practice and a loaded word-- loaded with portmanteau potential, that is. So look forward to more in the coming days.

Now, on to "sarchasm." The true strength of this term is its poignancy. Sarcasm lovers such as myself have all experienced sarchasm in the face of a dense audience. It's dismal-- you're giving them gold; they're giving you death stares. But the high-risk-high-reward nature of sarcasm is what makes it great. You say the opposite of what you mean and rely on your audience to use contextual cues and their mores of good sense to interpret the humor. When it works, everyone loves you. When it fails, you're on the solitary side of the sarchasm.

The big weakness to this term is its homophonality to "sarcasm." Since these words are pronounced identically, using "sarchasm" in speech is likely to meet with more confusion than appreciation. In writing, "sarchasm" may be used to great effect, but in speech it is unwieldy.

While it's unfortunate that such a formidable portmanteau has limited use potential, it illustrates a vital point: some portmanteaux are too close to the original words. When it's too close to the component words, a portmanteau may be unidentifiable. Thus the best portmanteaux use the distinguishing parts (both visually and aurally) of multiple component words to create a new term that is both uniquely meaningful and intuitive.

Credit:
Timothy O'Connell (term and definition), Nate Winter (the rest)

staycation

Origin:
stay + vacation = staycation

Definition:
n. a period of time off from work that is spent at or near home, instead of spent traveling.

Exemplum:
Mr. and Mrs. Joe and Jo Six-Pack couldn't afford Labor Day in the Hamptons, so they took a staycation to their local casino instead.

Commentary:
The liberal media has made a big deal of its silly staycation idea. I thought everyman had seen through such thinly veiled anti-American nonsense and everyday folks were back to living off their trust fund interest. But I heard a mention of it again on the news, so apparently not. I watch Fox News everyday and yet I'm still out of touch. Oh, exasperation, you are the ficklest of goddesses!

If one must discuss the lamentable spare time of the hoi polloi, I vehemently prefer "holistay" to "staycation." At least the former hints at the timeless class of a formidable Briticism. Even in these difficult economic times, let's be civilized about things.

Today's term falls still within our current wave of oxymoronic portmanteaux. We all know that vacation means a relaxing whiskaway to St. Bart's, The Hamptons, Aspen or, if you're really strapped for class, Hilton Head. So the notion of staying home for your vacation is certain to itch at the old cranial follicles.

But such are the times, and thus today's term was brought to light. Because if Nate Winter isn't a man of the people, and Portmanteau of the Day isn't a service to the people, then it's all headed straight to Hades anyway.

Credit:
Anonymous (staycation), The Daily Show (holistay), Nate Winter (the rest)

Thrillmette

Origin:
thrill + Wilmette, Illinois = Thrillmette

Definition:
n. Wilmette, Illinois (used derogatorily or sarcastically)

Exemplum:
Taking her dog to the park, going to the gym and watching Flight of the Conchords reruns were often the highlights of Brooke's summer in Thrillmette.

Commentary:
A rousing tangent to the oxymoronic portmanteau is the place portmanteau, which on occasion combines a place name with a non-applicable word, as in Thrillmette. We're not meant to believe that sleepy little Wilmette is all that thrilling. Rather, the addition of such a strongly positive term like "thrill" reveals that addition as humor. Ha ha!

Although "thrill" is a common noun and needn't be capitalized in normal usage, we capitalize "Thrillmette" to reinforce this term as a city name, and by extension a proper noun.

"Thrill" is especially useful for these playful place names, as it rhymefully replaces the ubiquitous suffix "ville" to great comic effect. Other Chicagoland examples include Naperthrill, Warrenthrill and Elk Grove Thrillage, but the possibilities are nearly endless.

And "thrill" and "ville" represent but one opportunity for portmanteau place names. Chicagoland is also home to Elmhearse, Coke-brook, Lombored, Arlington Shites, Glen Smellyn, Palacrime and Hins-stale.

Request for Reader Participation
Please click below to post comments with your own place name portmanteaux.

Credit:
Brooke Randel (Thrillmette), Betsy Erickson (Naperthrill), Nate Winter (the rest)

Table of Discontents (News Update)

Dear fellow portmanteau enthusiasts.

As you may have already noticed, this post is not a new portmanteau. But please don't be alarmed; today's portmanteau will show up later this evening. This post is simply a functional update on the behind-the-scenes goings-on here at the Portmanteau of the Day international offices.

The overwhelming success Portmanteau of the Day has seen in its inaugural three weeks is far from surprising. However, that incontestable fact notwithstanding, I was unprepared for the workload of it all, which is to blame for the interruptions in service. So I'm taking steps to resolve them and add other user-friendly morsels to the Portmanteau of the Day experience.

Kindly pardon our detritus over the coming weeks as we toil selflessly to bring you the following.

• Staff additions
• More engaging content
• Greater reader interactivity
• An improved business model

Your patience and continued fealty are appreciated.

Nate Winter

mathlete

Origin:
math + athlete = mathlete

Definition:
n. one who excels in mathematical ability

Exemplum:
Having studied calculus three years before any of his peers, Adam was Marmion Academy's first-choice mathlete for the academic decathlon.

Commentary:
Today's term is another installment of the oxymoronic portmanteau. This one especially tickles the cerebral funny bone for me because it harkens back to the timeless high school chasm between nerds and jocks-- a chasm which "mathlete" attempts to bridge. And fails-- miserably and hilariously.

"Mathlete" itself just smacks of a feeble, nerdly attempt to identify with the abilities and popularity of jocks. It's possible that this term has been used in television or film, but I've never encountered it in such ways. Which is surprising because I find its connotations to be irrefutably cinematic. The projector of the mind brings immediately to light an out-of-touch mother's futile attempt to reassure her nerdy son that he's cool in some alternative universe. It's just a smart, delightful, little way to poke fun at nerdliness, an activity in which everyone should engage any time the inclination arises.

Credit:
Anonymous (term), Nate Winter (the rest)

wisdumb

Origin:
wisdom + dumb = wisdumb

Definition:
n. a phrase or comment intended as an astute observation, that actually reveals unintelligence

Exemplum:
Emily's Yogi Tea revealed the words of wisdumb "Trust is the infinity of your soul," leaving us parched and craving the New Yorker.

Commentary:
Yet another entry in the oxymoronic portmanteau category. And this one has far more noble origins than frenemy. Which is to say, the source of its coinage is unknown. But it expresses an all-too familiar condition: the person who professes to be more intelligent than he or she truly is. The phenomenon as been documented by Shakespeare ("This above all: to thine own self be true"), The Simpsons ("They have the internet on computers now.") and clearly Yogi Tea, among others.

My father once saw an advertisement for Cartier timepieces in which "wisdom" was spelled "widsom." This regrettable exemplum is the meta-prototypical epitome of wisdumb-- having inadvertently advertisingly spelled "wisdom" incorrectly. He and I checked the time on our meticulously synchronized Patek Philippes, and had a hearty intergenerational rollick of it.

Credit:
Anonymous (term), Nate Winter (the rest)