sunGladyses

Origin:
sunglasses + Gladys = sunGladyses

Definition:
n. pl.
A modern style of women's sunglasses characterized by dramatically large lenses, similar to those that used to be worn by old ladies in Boca Raton named Gladys.  

Exempla:

 










Commentary:
With summer at full tilt, it's time for a summery, fashion-minded portmanteau to keep us on course. What's up with sunGladyses? Quite the "spectacle," aren't they? Why are old lady shades the hot accessory for the sun?

Old ladies like oversized sunglasses because their shameless functionality seems to know no bounds. These Blublockers offer Gladys maximum protection from harmful UVB rays at every angle while also fending off in-coming insects as she zips around the Walmart parking lot on her Rascal scooter. Plus, these peeper keepers help her maintain tip-top vision so she can con and guilt-trip her way into passing another eye exam at the DMV. What's not to love?

So then what's fashion-martyr-slash-celebutante Nicole Richie doing in a pair of blackout specs with lenses the size of her own anus? Her best Human Fly impression, obviously. But this is la mode right now. So what are the advantages? I guess maximum sun protection is one. But in the Ford Crown Victoria of fashion, function always takes a forehead-print-on-foggy-window backseat to aesthetics. As I see it, the big style benefit of oversized sunglasses is a suggestion of excess. By wearing sunglasses that are cartoonishly too big, the wearer communicates that she has the financial means to go beyond what is sufficient.

If you find this trend badgersome, I suggest you take consolation in the fact that the climate of fashion is fickle. I predict that this trend will blow over by next summer when everyone starts wearing sunglasses that look like telescopes on their eyes. These glasses will be 3D capable so wearers can reap the benefits of 3D television and 3D movies without the need to bring or borrow special spectacles.






Credit:
Nate Winter